Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Political Action Frustrations

 

I have always been a politically active and aware person, but I am extremely frustrated with left-of-center political activism right now. I am also extremely frustrated with nonprofit fundraising.

I donate now and will donate forever to various nonprofits about issues I care about. But some of them have earned a blanket ban from my wallet because of their predatory fundraising tactics.  They tell you a donation is one-time and sign you up for monthly.  They spam you with offers of stuffed animals and all-caps outrage headlines multiple times a day.  They never stop with the pleas for money, and they never tell you what the heck they are actually doing with it and how it is helping. 

I have basically stopped donating to the mainstream Democratic organizations because they sell your name to each other and suddenly you cannot even keep up with all the email and texts you must delete that bombard your personal life.  I cannot do it anymore.  I had an interesting email conversation with the guy who runs Bowers Media, Chris Bowers (or perhaps an intern using his email, who knows) about how his suggestions for donating to those blanket groups like the DCCC and DSCC and DGA and all that were a no-go for me since I have been culling the damage from my email since the election of 2012.  And the texting is way worse.  During the last election all I could do was text STOP multiple times a day and it didn't let up. It is intrusive, and it can't possibly be effective to just irritate people into donating.

So that's one of the problems.  The other is petitions.  I get so many sign this, sign that, this is really important! messages from nonprofits, officeholders, and various other political groups.  When you are in office in Congress, you are where you should be solving these problems. Why are you sending me a petition to sign? Who does it go to? Actually, it's just a pitch for money, probably.  Another predatory tactic.

I am not going to stop being active, but I am going to stop being REactive and I refuse to let this outrage mongering take over my life.  If these organizations want my support, they should tell me what they are doing, explain why this donation at this time will do something concrete, not sell my information to others of their ilk, not try to take more money than I intended to give them, and dial down the reaction language. And don't send me any more petitions, unless they have a point (for example a public comment on a project or something concrete).

Here is an example of an organization that does fundraising right: The Wildcat Sanctuary.  Whenever they ask for a donation, they explain exactly what it is for.  When I have to pause a monthly donation, they immediately do so. They have a real live person answering their phone who will immediately help me.  They send emails, but not to excess, and they never make over the top claims about how if they don't  get this money all their cats will die. Everyone else should do better and be more like them.

Tuesday, January 21, 2025

Refugee Assistance - Why not volunteer?



I feel like there is not enough discourse out there about immigration to the United States being a good thing for all concerned.  There is clear research showing this.  One of the few programs that most people, if questioned closely, would support is our small (compared to other Western democracies) program to resettle refugees and asylees. 

I know I can't do anything about national politics.  This incoming administration will be stopping or cutting these programs drastically, which is normal when an anti-immigrant administration takes over.  (It's also normal when a relatively neutral administration takes over, as the Biden administration didn't do much to beef up our shamefully small program either.) 

But, I can help local refugee resettlement programs by signing up to do so. So, recently I went through a process to sign up to offer a spare bedroom and some volunteer time to help such folks coming to Portland.  Our local refugee program is run by Catholic Charities. I'm now signed up to take people on errands, help people who need Arabic language skills, and offer a short term lodging to single refugees.

You can also sign up to do things like this.  What is the harm? And you will meet people who also care about other people and want to lead from a place of kindness.

 

Friday, January 10, 2025

To Solar or Not to Solar?


This week, I did some things I normally would not do.  I made a major purchase, and then I canceled it.

I'm trying to do a number of things with my house to make it a better place to live, more affordable, and also more sellable should I need to downsize at retirement, which I currently hope will be in less than ten years.  

One of those things has always been getting solar panels.

My home doesn't have south facing roof space, it is oriented east/west and I have a lot of trees.  I had a solar company come out around the time I purchased this house from my husband and his ex which was in the mid-teens.  That company basically told me that the solar could not be super efficient given my roof orientation and tree situation.  They said at the most, a rather expensive solar installation would recoup about half of the power I pay for now.

I now have an electric car, and charge it at home, so my electric bill has gone up a bit, and I was hoping that solar had gotten better / more efficient, so I did a questionnaire at Energy Trust of Oregon that sicced some companies on me.  One of them told me over the phone that they didn't recommend solar for the same reasons that I had heard before. One of them didn't end up connecting. The third was a very charming and hard charging salesperson who was very adamant that solar would work just fine for me.

Before I knew it, I was happily agreeing to a project to install a lot of panels all over my roof, possibly on the metal awning at the back of the house (facing east), and paying for it with a down payment that came from a HELOC I got for home improvements earlier this year and a substantial 25-year loan at somewhere around 8 percent interest.

Then after I finished with the solar company and set up their first site visit, they told me to call the loan company and have them walk me through the terms. The terms of the loan kind of obviated the benefit of the tax credit they had told me I would get, because the loan people will jack up the payment unless I use the tax credit to pay it down. (I was hoping the tax credit could help me with other expenses, since my husband died in 2024 and in 2025 I will have to pay a lot more in taxes at the single rate.)

I went over the loan terms and then I went and read some reviews about the company and their loan servicer, which mostly were people lamenting they had not understood these loan terms, or that they hadn't meant to sign something, but then it went into effect and they couldn't get rid of it. I think what happened is that someone sued the loan servicer and/or the solar company so now they have this requirement to walk you through the loan terms so you can't claim you didn't know.

One of the things that was explained was that I had 3 business days to cancel the loan. I thought about it. I talked to my son/tenant.  I thought about it some more. I realized that I had been rushed into this by the enthusiastic sales pitch and that the real situation was not going to work for me. So I canceled it today.

The loan servicer did not give me a hassle, but of course the solar salesman wanted to change my mind, and I hate those sorts of conversations, so it was an unpleasant phone call, but I held firm, because I am too old to get into messes out of politeness. So, no solar for us right now. I wish things were different and that this sort of project could be done through some sort of government application so that people aren't at the mercy of many different solar companies and finance companies who offer such complicated financing, because I still think it would be cool to retrofit existing homes to help with our energy crisis, our aging grids, and climate change.

Tuesday, December 17, 2024

Holidazed and Confused

 


My husband Chris died in February. My son and I are not Christian. He is agnostic / culturally Muslim and I am Sufi Muslim. Chris loved Christmas and its pomp and circumstance with all his heart, and made it a wonderful time for everybody who lived with, near or around him.  This time of year was so festive with him in the world.  He loved the Chieftains' old Christmas album "Bells of Dublin" and Vince Garaldi and other fun but non-irritating Christmas music. He had a huge Nativity scene including three Wise Men mounted on a camel, a horse, and an elephant, which he moved around the room so that they'd arrive at the manger on January 6, Epiphany. 

My son and I can't do any of this. The grief is too near and we are too non-Christian. I gave the Nativity scene to Chris' ex-wife, who had been his partner when he was collecting it when his kids were young. I gave all the other Christmas ornaments to her too, as she wanted them, and I didn't.  This year we have no tree. I did keep the artificial wreath and put it on the door.  

Chris with me in 2013 at a local bar
I had a holiday party at work to go to and it was really, really hard to be cheery.  I felt so drained afterwards. I know a lot of people feel like this at this time of year. I have never liked parties, but in the past I have actually had a good time at them. Chris used to say to me "you know once you go you'll have a good time."

It is a dark time of year with no Chris to provide cheer.  We are doing our best. I hope anyone reading this holds their loved ones close.  



Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Charities and Tygger


 I am one of those people who keeps track of charities even though I have not deducted them on taxes since the "Tax cuts and jobs act" of 2017 that raised the standard deduction so high.  I give to a lot of people-oriented charities, including some local ones, and a lot of environmental charities, again including some local ones. But my favorite charity by far for the enjoyment it gives me is my monthly donation to the Wildcat Sanctuary in Sandstone, Minnesota.  The cat above is Tygger, and I send a donation every month to sponsor him alone. I also send a regular monthly donation that is not earmarked.

The Wildcat Sanctuary sends me cute pictures of him. I have also bought a T-shirt of him. He is a lovely F1 Bengal - meaning that he is a hybrid of a domestic cat with a wild leopard cat.  These cats are bred for their looks, sold for thousands, and then usually euthanized because they are very feral and difficult to keep as pets.

Charities don't take the place of a well-run society with an active social safety net, but they give us joy. In fact, I think that's the main thing that makes people donate to them, not a selfless desire to do good, but the pleasure of giving.

I hope all of us are thankful for our many blessings and that we contribute as much as we can.

Another picture of Tygger, which just came in yesterday's email (The Wildcat Sanctuary called it his "glamour shot"):


Enjoy!

Friday, November 08, 2024

In Memory of Buzz the Cat, 2011-2024


This is Buzz. Buzz is gone.

Buzz was a tuxedo cat we adopted as a kitten for my stepson's 16th birthday. My stepson turned 29 this year.

Buzz was sleek, playful and had the prettiest tuxedo cat markings ever (a blaze on his nose, a white tail tip, white feet and a small white bib).

Buzz was also a problem sprayer all of his life.  I went through three couches and three easy chairs because of this. At the end of his life, we had aluminum foil and washable chair covers on all our furniture, and we had given up on having a couch. We tried everything. We tried Feliway, we tried various combinations and changes regarding litter boxes, we tried it all.  He would just spray when he wanted to. It didn't seem tied to stress. My final theory on this was that one of his testicles hadn't descended properly when he was neutered as a kitten, and that caused some sort of hormonal thing.

Buzz was the leader of our little clowder until he got ill towards the end of his life. He kept our youngest, fattest cat, Yuri, under control, and stood off from Krysta, our long-haired female cat who doesn't really like other cats, and was friends with our other tuxedo cat, Apollo.

Buzz played all the time. He was also very affectionate. He liked to get on laps and stretch out.  

He was an indoor-only cat, and when he was younger he would sometimes get out and stay outside until he had to go to the bathroom, at which point he would finally come in because he didn't know he could poop anywhere outside.

He was the best cat. My husband, who died about six months before he did, always commented that he was the oldest and yet most playful of our cats.  

You would think that my son and I would be relieved we don't have to worry about the spraying anymore, but we actually just feel sad.  I took all the foil down, and the rest of the cats are fine with having a lot more soft surfaces to sleep on, but we just miss our beautiful Buzz.




Thursday, November 07, 2024

2024 has been a dark year

Chris, 1958-2024

Starting from now, I am making myself yet another promise to get back to blogging here, because I feel like I have things to say and not enough people to say them to. 

 I lost my husband in February. He had a lot of health issues, many of which were from his lifestyle, and one big one that was a rare genetic disorder. The lifestyle health issues contributed, but the big genetic disorder ultimately killed him.

He was my best friend, and we loved talking about stuff. All stuff. He was the person to bounce things off on, the person to come home to, the person to play board games with or spend hours on YouTube with or cuddle with. We met in 2009 and married in 2017.  It would have been exactly 15 years we were together had he lived another three months. 

He is gone and I am very bereft. 

I live with my grown son and three remaining cats - we also lost our oldest, amazing, beautiful cat later in the year. We are coping with a lot of grief for my husband, the cat and our values (now that we have also had a very traumatic national election that did not go the way we were hoping). 

 Hold your loved ones very close. If you have a choice between vegging out and doing an activity with them, do the activity. Many of them will be gone before you are, and those activities will create memories that sustain you in your grief. Love yourself but don't forget to check in with others you care about. If you are having a difficult time, maybe they are too. The best thing to do in grief, I've found, is to help each other. Just grieving together is much less soul-crushing than grieving alone. 

Commemorate those you've lost, through your own rituals and your own thoughts. Memory is a very weird, subjective, often objectively false thing but it is all we have from our pasts. 

 If you're reading this, bookmark and check back in. I will once again try to be more regular in screaming into the void.